Apparently I have an "enormous armoury of shockingly bad jokes" (according to Phil Nolan)
One that I wrote myself is:
"I prefer Count Star to Count Dracula, because I don't like having to consider which Draculas are NULL."
Others that I heard elsewhere:
"A man walks into a bar and sees two tables. Says 'Can I join you?'"
"Q: What do you call someone who turns into Father Christmas whenever there's a full moon? A: A were-clause."
There's also the fact that my company LobsterPot Solutions (which has a claw as its logo) should use the slogan "SELECT Claws", but I don't want to do that because only the techies would get the joke, not the people who would be prepared to hire me.
But surely you guys can do better... please post them here.